Upcoming after the rants, poetry.

The worst he told me was he had to “live in a trailer in the fourth wealthiest county in America” and “my mom and her boyfriend would wake us up in the middle of the night arguing and we’d go to sleep in the car and get up to go to school in three hours.” “So what? You had to move across the country. Get over it. My childhood was probably ten times as bad as yours. Get off your high horse about having a bad childhood.”

Is that the worst you got? Wanna try seeing your mom thrown up against the wall? her face stepped on or head smashed repeatedly in a doorjamb? her drunk and trying to climb out a window? a man passed out on your bed, thus forcing you to sleep in the living room on an exercise chair while she kept some else in her room? her slapping you across the face? telling you she didn’t want kids? a knife at her throat? lies, deceit, drinking, drugs, constant in and out, moving into hotel rooms and shelters and people’s living rooms (yes, living rooms! Not bedroom. Not “sleeping in the living room, keeping your stuff elsewhere”, but “keeping everything in the living room and sleeping there, where the cats excrete their waste”) and not having food? being so sick every day and managing not but two or three hours of sleep? crying yourself to sleep? medical issue after medical issue whilst caring for your two younger siblings? watching other people’s kids? being left alone all night? feeling yourself give up, pick up, give up? suicidal, alone, sadistic, friendless, failing at school, instability, hatred, abuse? And when I say sick, I mean so sick you throw up and shake and cry at the slightest thing. So pale the teachers grab your arm and lead you to the office. Seizures especially. Not having one place for more than two months. Not being able to buy essentials, such as soap or toothpaste or socks. Unknowing of whether you could die in the night and wanting to seek safety but comprehending your place as with your sisters, caring for them, because your mother is at the time incapable.

(Oh, and dig this: I also was wakened in the middle of the night by arguing, then had to go sleep in the car or suffer long drives, and the next morning head to school.)

And that isn’t a quarter of it. If you believe your childhood more detrimental of the two, I’d reconsider.

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